Grief, Bereavement and Loss
Only those who avoid love can avoid grief. The point is to learn from grief and remain vulnerable to love
Grief, Loss and Bereavement
To begin, it is important for us to understand the differences between the terms “grief/grieving” and “bereavement”. Grief is our experience following a loss of any kind (for example a relationship, status, house, job, income, game, etc), whereas bereavement is a specific type of grief related to someone’s death. I find that grief, bereavement and loss are powerful experiences that forever change our lives. Grief is a strong emotion that we all eventually face over the course of our lives.
Any loss can cause grief including
To begin, it is important for us to understand the differences between the terms “grief/grieving” and “bereavement”. Grief is our experience following a loss of any kind (for example a relationship, status, house, job, income, game, etc), whereas bereavement is a specific type of grief related to someone’s death. I find that grief, bereavement and loss are powerful experiences that forever change our lives. Grief is a strong emotion that we all eventually face over the course of our lives.
- Loss of a cherished dream
- A relationship breakup
- Loss of a friendship
- Losing a job or financial stability
- Death of a pet
- A miscarriage or an abortion
- A loved one’s serious illness or death
- Loss of safety and security after a trauma
- Loss of health
While there is no right or wrong way to grieve a loss, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain. If grief is expressed and experienced as a potential for healing, it can eventually strengthen and enrich our lives. When you are grieving, it is more important than ever to take care of yourself. The anxiety of a major loss can quickly deplete your emotional reserves and energy. Therefore, looking after your physical and emotional needs, will help you get through this difficult time.
During therapy, you will be encouraged to
- Identify and face your feelings and thoughts in a constructive and creative way. In order to heal within, you have to acknowledge the pain. Unresolved grief by avoiding, suppressing your feelings of sadness can lead to complications such as anxiety, depression, substance abuse and other health issues.
- Make sense out of what happened, derive meaning from it, and put it into a context. This makes us feel better.
- Honor your loss. In bereavement, many people feel better when they find ways to carry on the legacy of the person, in a way which will endure over time.
- Make time to grieve and avoid judging your thoughts and feelings. Judging yourself will only make things more difficult and prolong the healing process.
- Learn basic coping strategies in everyday life activities and feelings that emerge.
- Look after your physical health. Since your mind and body are connected, when you are physically healthy you will also feel better emotionally.
- Plan ahead for grief “triggers”. Anniversaries and holidays can reawaken memories and feelings. Be prepared for an emotional turmoil, and know that it’s completely normal.
Contact a grief counselor or professional therapist if you
- Feel like life isn’t worth living any more
- Feel numb and disconnected from others or yourself
- Wish you had died with your loved one
- Blame yourself for the loss or for failing to prevent it from happening
- Are having difficulty in trusting others since your loss
- Are unable to perform your daily activities
Abortion
Have you had an abortion and feel like you have not emotionally recovered from it? Are you unsure about how to deal with your grief and how to recover from an abortion? If your answer is “yes,” know you are not alone. Countless women have the same experience and have never been able to work through the recovery process by themselves.
Abortion choices can create a situation of disenfranchised grief. Disenfranchised grief is the experience by an individual that grieves in ‘silence’. In other words the individual’s grief is not openly acknowledged, publically observed or socially validated. Thus, even though the loss experienced is real, survivors are not given the “right to grieve” by anyone around them. As a result, a common effect of this experience is depression, which manifests itself in small periods of sadness or a more full-blown period of depression. Unprocessed grief can also cause people to linger in anger without even realizing the source of their anger. It is commonly observed that individuals fail to notice the connection between their depression and unprocessed grief surrounding an abortion. Furthermore, this could lead to substance abuse and eating disordered behaviors.
